How Important Am I to You? You Have to Show Me.

Dear Neil: I’ve been married for 37 years. My husband no longer notices me. For Christmas, he bought me a book I’d already read, the same calendar I’d already purchased and a lovely pair of earrings. I had told him about the book and calendar when I read and bought them. Last evening, ...read more

How it Might be Possible to Win Back Trust

Dear Neil: My fiancé has cheated on me our entire 3 year relationship, having been faithful for perhaps 2 months in that 3 year period. He proposed to me a year ago, and has admitted that he only gave me a ring because of all the trouble he was in with me. But he hasn’t been faithful since ...read more

Rules for Women in a Committed Relationship

Dear Neil: I was wondering if you have a Wife 101 column to go with your Husbandry 101 column. What are the equivalent rules for women?        Committed Lady in Australia

Dear Australia: Here they are.

Many women adopt a passive attitude toward romance; they tend to think of courtship, ...read more

Husbandry 101: For Committed Men

Dear Neil: I have saved a column you wrote over a decade ago called “Husbandry 101: For Committed Men.” My copy has yellowed and frayed over the years, so could you rerun that column again? I believe many would like to see it again.

Boulder, Colorado

Dear Boulder: You bet. Here is ...read more

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

Over the course of my career as a marriage counselor, I have heard thousands of stories about intimate relationships that have gone wrong.

Love, which takes much less effort in the beginning of a relationship, increasingly requires far more effort, relational skills and stick-to-it-ness as ...read more

Quiz: How Empathetic Are You?

Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of someone else. It describes how well we identify with other people’s pain, fears, desires, feelings and experiences. It is the one trait that most links humans together. It makes me have compassion for what has befallen you, it allows you to feel ...read more

The Only Way to Affair-Proof Your Relationship

We know that for the past 30 or so years, the divorce rate has been stuck between 40 and 50 percent of marriages. We also know that some people who elect to stay together are not happy together. They remain with each other because of children, religious beliefs, economic necessity or fear they won’t ...read more

Finding Your Voice

Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months. I am in my 20′s, and am in university. He’s moving at the end of next month an hour away (I do not have a car), and when he gets another contract, he could be going anywhere. This man is someone I think I love, and I ...read more

How To Tell When He’s Not That Into You

Dear Neil: I don’t know how to start, but I am ever so desperate. I have fallen in love with a man who is 30 (I am 20), and we have been on and off for the past 18 months. We are also long distance, because he is in Belgium and I live in London. Throughout the course of the relationship, I have ...read more

How to Destroy Your Relationship

Through the years as a marriage therapist, I have been asked a countless number of times:  “We were so wild about each other.  So much in love.  So passionate.  How could we have possibly grown this cold and distant from each other?”

There are a variety of answers to ...read more