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Attachment

Are You Too Needy?

Dear Neil:  What does it mean when a man calls me “needy?”  I am in my 40’s and have been in several relationships through the years where the men in my life have accused me of being too needy.  But I am confused about what “too needy” means.  Am I not supposed to lean on someone whom I love and who says he loves me?  Is it wrong to show my sensitivities and vulnerabilities to a man I’m sleeping with?  Am I not supposed to have expectations or make demands on someone’s time when we’re talking about marriage?

How Do I Detach From The Man I Love?

Dear Neil:  I gave up a man I love, and still love deeply, for all the right reasons.  He was desperate for marriage—but didn’t love me.  I couldn’t see myself being happy in his family and with his kids.  But the pain of his loss is still profound a year on.   This is the first time my head has not been able to manage my heart.  I need help to break the love connection.  He has, of course, now married someone else.

Still Attached in Wellington, New Zealand

Reduce Your Attachment

in Order to Let Go of a Relationship

in Order to Let Go of a Relationship

Dear Neil:  I have recently been dumped by my partner of two years.   The worst thing seems to be that I am finding it very hard to let go. Can you recommend anything that will help?

Lost In New Zealand

Dear Neil:  My husband and I split up six years ago after 29 years of marriage.  He is still with the woman he left me for, but I am finding it impossible to let go of the relationship and move on.  I guess I am still hoping we will reconcile.  Any suggestions?   

Going All Out: Increasing Your Attachment

Dear Neil:  My wife accuses me of being disattached and emotionally withdrawn in our relationship. What can I do to increase my level of attachment and become closer to her?

Gerald H.
San Antonio, Texas

Dear Gerald:  In a way, this is the same question as to how you could be a better spouse and lover.  Try some of these ideas:

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