Dating / Singles Issues

Betrayal May be Too Hard to Overcome

Dear Neil: I’ve been in an on-and-off again relationship with a man I have two children with. I love him dearly and I want to be with him. But he wants to leave in order to determine what he really wants from our relationship and how he feels about me. He’s having a hard time dealing with the past. I had an affair with his brother, and he can’t get past it. I love him, and he means the world to me. Please help.

Lostlove in Baltimore, Maryland

Attracting a Woman Requires a Light-Hearted, Playful Spirit

Dear Neil: Almost universally you’ll hear women say they want a guy with a “good sense of humor.” What exactly does that mean? Am I supposed to be cracking jokes all day long? I tend to be on the serious side. What am I supposed to do?

Not Understanding in Longmont, Colorado

Should I Keep My Boyfriend or Leave Him?

Dear Neil: I’m having much difficulty in believing my sick significant other. When we dated, he told me all about his past problems with drugs and alcohol. I was given to understand that he’d been in recovery for years. He moved in with me last year, and I immediately learned he was using pain killers to the extreme. He went full-blown with cocaine a year ago. After two weeks in rehab, he is supposedly back on track.

Should I Marry a Man I'm Not Attracted To?

Dear Neil: My ex-boyfriend proposed to me recently. I have not given him an answer. I am not fully in love with him. He has great personality traits, but I do not feel physically attracted to him, and I don’t know what to do. I am afraid if I say yes, our marriage may not end up working out because attraction is important. Also, I recently started a long distance relationship and I feel emotionally connected to this other person—and I am afraid to hurt either one of these men.

Wavering in New York

41 and Never Dated - What Am I Doing Wrong?

Dear Neil: I am forty-one and have never dated or even been asked out on a date. I am a Christian, nice looking, successful and full of life and joy. My question is why have I not been asked out or even approached? To me, God has this glass box around me with a sign that says Don’t Touch! I can only guess that I am giving some sign that says “stay away.” Any help would be great.

Alone in Texas

How Do I Deepen a Beginning Relationship?

Dear Neil: I recently met a man through a popular on-line dating service, and we’ve had three dates in the past month. I really like the man I’ve met, but I’m having trouble reading the signs. I’m open to sharing personal details about myself in order to connect with someone and become close.

Why Aren't Men Checking Me Out?

Dear Neil: Is there something that makes men attracted to women? Why is it that my best friend is hit on all the time (even as she gains a little weight), but I don’t get hit on at all. I am shy, and I just don’t have it in me to talk to a random guy without some encouragement, but I think I would know it if someone was checking me out. I am not fat or ugly, I don’t think. What am I doing wrong? Am I just not attractive or what?

Feeling Rejected

Romancing The Stone

Dear Neil: I have a boyfriend who I think of as my soul mate, and I love him dearly. The problem is that he rarely calls me, rarely has time to get together, rarely invites me out to dinner(or to other forms of entertainment), and seldom is endearing or romantic toward me. He is preoccupied with his work, which is very demanding, and because of that we seldom actually see each other. I know we’re destined to be together, but I’m not feeling special, valued or important to him, and I don’t know what to do about that.

Please help.

Rules for Internet Dating

Been looking for love in all the wrong places? Have you been having trouble meeting people that interest and attract you romantically?

If so, you and (along tens of millions of other people) may decide to try your luck at one of the on-line dating services, even as you catch yourself telling people that you’re just experimenting or doing this on a lark.

Where Are All The Good Men?

Note: This is the first of a two-part series.

Dear Neil: I am an attractive, successful, affluent woman in my forties, and I am having a hard time finding men who I might consider marrying. Why is there such a Great Man Shortage? Where are all the good men?

Puzzled in Estes Park, Colorado

Dear Puzzled: Consider the following choices. You are single woman. You are about to bring home to your parents the man you are engaged to marry.