Forgiving

Changing Narcissistic Behaviors

Dear Neil: I need to cure my narcissistic behaviors. But I don’t know where to start. Can you help?

Unsure of What To Do

Forgiving Your Parents and Making Peace With The Past

Note: This is second of a two-part series.

Readers Respond to Advice on Forgiving Sexual Assualt

Dear Neil: I was surprised to read that you advised a woman who said that her husband had sexually assaulted her once, years ago, to work on forgiving her husband and losing her resentment. Like all the responsibility is hers. How about advising her to call the police?

Wellington, New Zealand

Forgiveness Requires Letting Go Of Resentment

Dear Neil: I wonder if you would address the situation of marital rape. This happened to me many years ago (once). I am a senior now and still have not been able to put this behind me. I still resent my husband deeply, along with his many lies and deceits. He does none of these now, but I believe I should have left him long ago. I still consider leaving him.

Still Resentful in London, Ontario

More Steps to Forgiveness

Note: This is the second of a two-part series.

Here are more suggestions for letting go of your hurts and resents in order to forgive:

How to Forgive Husband's Betrayal

Note: This is the first of a two-part series.

Dear Neil: My husband slept with one of our business customers 18 months ago. I found out, and my life just hasn’t been the same since. I have tried to put it behind me, but I just can’t get the betrayal out of my head. To make matters worse, he lied about what happened. I love him, but I can’t forgive his betrayal and the hurt I feel. Looking back, I think I dedicated myself to my children, leaving little time for us to be a couple. What do you think I should do?

Making an Apology

Dear Neil: I think I owe my boyfriend an apology for repeatedly getting angry with him, being demanding and selfish, insulting him and generally treating him poorly.

I’ve never been very good at apologizing to people—it makes me feel weak, bad and full of shame. How do I apologize to him effectively?

Fearful in Vail, Colorado

How Do I Let The Past Go?

Dear Neil: About four years ago I was working out of town. Over the two weeks I was away, my wife had a brief romantic fling. Except she lied about it, telling me they were only friends. However, the younger kids told me of a night when Mommy wasn’t home at 1:45 a.m, and they had to call her on her cell phone to get her home. After repeated questioning she admitted she had gone to the beach one night and “necked” with a man—although that’s all she admits to. She told me she was afraid I was going to leave her if she had told me the truth from the begi

Forgiveness Part 2

Note: This is the second of a two-part series.

People who forgive sever themselves from the past and look to the future. The choice to forgive gives you the opportunity to heal yourself. Here’s how you can begin the forgiveness process, courtesy of Beverly Flanigan in the book “Forgiving The Unforgivable” (Wiley):

Forgiveness Part 1

Note: This is the first of a two-part series.

Dear Neil: How do I go about forgiving my ex-husband who left me for another woman?

Hurt in Mystic, Connecticut