Love

Quiz: Is There Love and Respect in Your Relationship?

Is there enough love and respect in your intimate relationship? Do you and your partner show each other empathy, support, care, affection, friendship, sympathy and love? How do you express such emotions, how is that expression received by your partner, and where could you improve in the ways that you express love and respect?

Take this quiz to find out. Answer “yes” or “no” to each of the following statements, depending on whether you mostly agree or disagree.

How Intimate Do You Want to Be?

On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), choose a number that represents how much closeness you’re comfortable with in an intimate relationship.

Many people are less than completely honest about this issue. They want closeness and intimacy, but not too much of it, not all the time and only in certain times and ways.

Falling in Love Requires You Offering Your Heart

Dear Neil: In the past few years, I have had several different relationships with me that seem to follow the same pattern. The man is hot, and the relationship starts out with great interest, enthusiasm, hope, chemistry and passion. But after awhile, I seem to lose that enthusiasm and begin to notice a variety of differences between us: we like different music, have different interests, different political view points, different styles of behaving, different ways of looking at things.

Falling in Love Alone

Dear Neil: I have been in a hot, furious, torrid, erotic love relationship which recently ended abruptly, and I am at a loss to understand why. “Eric” was everything I had hoped for. He was romantic, charming, sensitive, adorable and emotionally available. He said he loved me, he acted like he loved me, he talked about a future together and he made it feel like this was the real thing. This was the man I thought I was going to marry. He acted very taken with me, and he seemed genuine and sincere.

Self Love Requires Valuing Yourself

NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A TWO-PART SERIES

When you love and value yourself, you start taking care of your health; your body; your psyche; your relationships with others; and your sense of vitality, optimism, and overall well-being.

Here are some of the things you can do to better love, respect and value yourself:

How Do I Become Self Loving?

NOTE: THIS IS THE FIRST OF A TWO-PART SERIES

Dear Neil: I’m 54, and have had to face aloneness, fear and memories of childhood rape and emotional abuse. How do I become self-loving?

Annah
Wellington, New Zealand

Love Requires Heart and Vulnerability

Dear Neil: I’m wondering why I cannot trust my heart. Ever since marrying my husband four years ago, I have known something was wrong. After a year of searching, I have finally figured out that I married him based on “cognitive” things that I thought would make a good marriage. The problem is that I’ve never loved him in my heart.

When You're Smitten

When was the last time you felt smitten?

People who are smitten live in a different world than everyone else. The normal world includes highs and lows, work, fun, joy, chores, bills, worries—in fact, all the pleasures, pains and responsibilities of real life.

Not so when you’re smitten.

These words come to mind in describing the feeling of being smitten: intoxicated; heartful; adoring; cherishing; enthusiastic; enchanted; hopeful; erotically charged; passionate and feelings of tenderness.

Expressing Love and Appreciation to Your Valentine

When was the last time you told your Valentine how valued s/he was? How special? What you appreciate and how much you appreciate him or her?

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here is an exercise if you’d like to correct that oversight—and infuse your relationship with renewed appreciation and gratitude.

Select from the following list three things you really appreciate about your Valentine. Then tell your partner what these three things are. You can add items not on this list.

I really appreciate:

Want to Love Again?

The More Love You Give The More "In Love" You Will Feel

Dear Neil: I have gone through a series of relationships with women where I just don’t feel the emotions I’d like to feel about them. Either the chemistry is wrong (and therefore I am not much into it), or she has children (I don’t want children), isn’t educated enough, or something else is wrong that sours me. After awhile, I get dissatisfied, end the relationship, and then find another woman, only to repeat the same scenario all over again.