Parenting

WHEN YOUR GROWN KIDS REJECT YOU

Dear Neil: I was an emotionally absent mother, just like my mother was to me. Now my children are adults with their own children, and I would like to mend the past with them. My son shows the scars of his past and often rejects me by words or actions. My greatest wish is that we can make peace.

Don't Know What Else to Do in New Zealand

REPAIRING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR GROWN SON OR DAUGHTER

Dear Neil: We have had trouble with our daughter-in-law for years. She has decided to not let us into our son's life, or our grandchildren's lives. We have tried to make amends, but to no avail. We love our grandchildren, but are not allowed any contact. Do you have any recommendations?

Hurting in Bristol, Tennessee

What Can I Do to Save My Marriage?

Dear Neil: My husband and I have been together for 19 years. The last ten have been horrible. I was sad, dysfunctional and felt lost, unloved and unworthy. Now my husband has had enough, has lost his passion for me, met someone else (three weeks ago) and is instigating separation proceedings. I have done some incredible soul searching recently, and can honestly say that I love myself for the first time. I’m in love with my husband and want to be with him emotionally and physically (this has been lacking for years), and provide him with love, happiness

Should I Live with Photos of Widower’s Departed Spouse?

Dear Neil: I am crazy in love with a wonderful man—a widower. His late wife passed away eight years ago after 23 years of marriage. We have been engaged for over a year now. He has two grown sons, has another two sons (ages 10 and 12) at home and a special needs son that is 29. I have the utmost desire and commitment in keeping their mom’s memory open. There are nice family photos around my fiancée’s house, but the 10X20 of my fiancée and his late wife hanging in the dining room; small pictures of her stuck in the corner of every frame in the house; a

Is There Anything We Can Do About Our Son Who Refuses Contact With Us?

Dear Neil: Our 33 year-old son has no contact with us, but he also doesn’t have contact with his brothers, aunts or uncles, cousins and grandparents. This has been going on for four years now.

Why would he be this rejecting of his parents? Is there anything we can do to change this and bring our son back into the family?

Forlorn in California

Father’s Parenting Style May be Hurting His Children

Dear Neil: My husband seems to be looking for every little thing the kids do wrong, and it’s causing our children to act the same way toward each other. He does this from the moment he gets up until he goes to bed. He never points out the good. What should I do?

Emotionally Drained in Idaho

How Do I Get My Boyfriend Back?

Dear Neil: I am 26 years-old and for the first time in my life I have felt true love with another. But he has broken up with me and left me an emotional and financial train wreck of a mess. The problem is that he compared me to his ex, and accused me of doing things to him that his ex did. But I am being wrongfully convicted for a crime I did not commit. I cry myself to sleep every night alone in our bed. Please help me either get over him or get him back.

Lost and Bewildered in Colorado

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Note: This is the second of a two-part series.

If you wish to raise an emotionally intelligent child, you’re going to have to get good at being your child’s emotion coach.

Emotional coaching consists of the following steps:

How Children Learn To Be Emotionally Intelligent

Note: This is the first of a two-part series.

Regaining a Relationship with Your Grown Children

Dear Neil: I have completely lost contact with my grown children (ages 30 to 18). Their mother and I had a nasty, acrimonious divorce, and she practiced child alienation, bad-mouthing and condemning me a great deal to them. I feel rejected by them because it feels as if they have taken their mother’s side and are against me. They also talked back to me a lot, and blamed me for the divorce. Recently I have been advised to reestablish contact with them, but I’m very reluctant to do so because I don’t want to be rejected and judged as an inadequate father.&nbs