Premarital

WHAT TO CONSIDER BEFORE GETTING ENGAGED

Note: This is the second of a two-part series

Here are things to examine before you consider marriage:

THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GET ENGAGED

Note: This is the first of a two-part series.

Dear Neil: I'm getting ready to pop the question, and wondered whether you have any guidelines about knowing whether someone would be a good choice for me. We are different in so many ways, but we enjoy many of the same things, we get along well, I'm attracted to her and I think we love each other. Is that enough? You hear of so many marriages falling apart, and I don't want to rush into this blindly. Is there anything else you think I should consider?

Ready in Hawaii

Quiz: Before You Marry

If you are planning on being married, and would like to know your fiancee‚ better--or build more intimacy into your relationship--address the following questions with each other:

Communication Exercises for Those Planning to Marry

Congratulations. I hear you're engaged to be married, and you have come to me, a marriage therapist, and have asked what the two of you should do to prepare for marriage. So here's my advise: Sit down with each other and address the following questions. Make sure both of you have an opportunity to address each question thoroughly.

Quiz: Communicating

Talking to Each Other

So frequently do marriage therapists--including myself--hear couples complain that they don't communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose's book "Talk to Me".

Preconceptions of Marriage

How Marriage Changes a Relationship

"My husband and I have been married ten months. Prior to our marriage he was very active sexually with me," writes a woman from Milwaukee.

Evaluating Your Fiancee

John and Sherri were engaged to be married when they entered treatment for pre-marriage therapy. "Sometimes, I think I'm attracted to the idea of being married more than the idea of being married to John," said Sherri. "We are very different people: we don't see eye to eye, we seem to have different values, and we don't enjoy doing the same things. How do I judge if we're compatible and good for each other? How do I determine whether it is wise for me to marry him?"

Following are guidelines for trying to evaluate whether your intimate other would be a good marriage partner: