Currently browsing the Anger Category

Passing the “Do-You-Care-Test” After a Betrayal

PASSING THE “DO-YOU-CARE-TEST” AFTER A BETRAYAL

 

 

 

Dear Neil: I need some advice. My wife recently ended a four month affair when I accidentally discovered that she had been stepping out on me. She has acknowledged wrong doing (she was caught, ...read more

Depressed and angry children are made, not born

Psychotherapists who work with depressed and angry people encounter the same emotions and self-images in nearly all of their clients – and most of those emotions can be traced to the messages that kids are given about themselves in childhood.  It is clear that depressed ...read more

What are your Hot-Button Issues?

Note: This is the first of a two-part series

What sets you off? Are there predictable landmines that trigger fights, arguments or angry outbursts—in your intimate relationship, with your children or with other close people to you? Here are a list of hot-button issues and emotional triggers, ...read more

Defusing Anger

Dear Neil:  I can feel my husband’s anger, although he doesn’t say anything to me about it.  But he is cold and dismissing toward me, has ceased to be affectionate and spends very little time with me alone.  I know something is disturbing him, but I am clueless as to what.  ...read more

Anger and Resentment is Related to Your Hurts

Note:  This is the second of a three-part series.

Think of a time when your intimate partner was resentful or angry at you and s/he was actually right—you did do something wrong.  Even though s/he was right, you may have felt s/he was making too much of it, or overlooking crucial ...read more

How Do I Stop Pushing My Boyfriend Away?

Dear Neil:  I am hoping that you can help me get a grip on my inability to trust—before  I push away my boyfriend once and for all.  It seems as though I conjure up reasons to fear that he is not devoted to me, and then I become extremely anxious, panicky and explosive.  So anxious, ...read more

Hidden Issues Often Destroy Relationships

Note:  This is the first of a two-part series.

Are you fighting a lot about small petty things?  Is the anger or reactivity in your relationship seemingly out of proportion to the issue or conflict that began your fight?  Are either of you getting worked up over seemingly small ...read more

Why Do All Our Trips Get Ruined?

Dear Neil:  Can you help me figure out why my girlfriend and I seem to fight a lot when we’re on holiday? We schedule time off, plan the holiday together, talk about it and look forward to it.  But when we’re actually on the trip, she gets seriously touchy, reactive, jealous, critical, ...read more

The Faces of Diversion and Distraction

Dear Neil:  I sometimes get aggressively hostile toward my boyfriend, even though I know he doesn’t mean me harm with what he says.  But when he says something negative or critical of me, or even just something that I’d rather he not feel or (not say), I can get seriously angry, hostile ...read more

Personal Power Doesn’t Require Anger

Dear Neil:  Thanks for your recent column on anger.  What’s been fascinating for me is to realize how ill-equipped I am to having any reaction other than anger or feeling like a doormat.  Learning to rein in anger is freeing, but if people who have relied on anger for power don’t ...read more