Evaluating - Troubleshooting a Relationship

Most satisfied couples will tell you that friendship is the most important ingredient in their relationship.  Think for a moment of a person that you would call a good friend – someone other than your partner – and see how many of the following statements apply to that relationship.  Put a check mark beside the statement if it applies. 

____ 1.  We support each other in the tough times.

____ 2.  We understand each other.

____ 3.  We enjoy one anothers’ company.

____ 4.  We treat each other with respect.

s there enough love and respect in your intimate relationship?  Do you and your partner show each other empathy, support, care, affection, friendship, sympathy and love?  How do you express such emotions, how is that expression received by your partner, and where could you improve in the ways that you express love and respect?

Take this quiz to find out.  Answer “yes” or “no” to each of the following statements, depending on whether you mostly agree or disagree.

If you were to give yourself a grade for how effective, how responsive and how loving you behave in your relationship, what would that grade be?

Take this quiz to determine how satisfied you are in your intimate relationship.  For each of the 16 relationship traits listed below, rate each trait from the following two scales.

SATISFACTION SCALE:  How satisfied are you with each of these aspects of your relationship?  5: Enthusiastic—it couldn’t be any better  4:  Quite satisfied  3:  It’s all right, I guess—I can’t complain   2:  A little disappointed—it could be better  1:  Really disappointed—not what I expected

If you are planning on being married, and would like to know your fiancee‚ better--or build more intimacy into your relationship--address the following questions with each other:

Everyone wants to be in love, stay in love, and live a fun, passionate, fulfilling and meaningful life. We begin our relationships full of hope. We begin our marriages by vowing our best. We all feel that our relationships are special, different and unique. And they are. So says Gregory J. P. Godek in the book "Love--The Course They Forgot To Teach You In School" (Casablanca Press, 1997)

This inventory offers you an opportunity to be more objective in looking at a current or previous relationship. It is not a scientifically validated questionnaire, but a guide based on my observations about what's important in a relationship--and about what gets intimate relationships in trouble.

If you are doing this as a couple, score this questionnaire individually, and do not talk about your answers or responses until both of you have completed the inventory. A discussion of how you rated things and why could be very enlightening.

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