Are You Friends with the Person You Love?
Most satisfied couples will tell you that friendship is the most important ingredient in their relationship. Think for a moment of a person that you would call a good friend – someone other than your partner – and see how many of the following statements apply to that relationship. Put a check mark beside the statement if it applies.
____ 1. We support each other in the tough times.
____ 2. We understand each other.
____ 3. We enjoy one anothers’ company.
____ 4. We treat each other with respect.
____ 5. We enjoy a lot of the same things.
____ 6. We trust each other.
____ 7. We accept our differences.
____ 8. We keep our relationship on a positive note.
____ 9. We each put effort into our friendship.
____ 10. We can depend on each other.
____ 11. We settle our differences without threatening the relationship.
Go back over the checklist again, only this time think about your relationship with your intimate partner–and look at how many of the above statements apply. Looking at your love relationship, answer the following questions:
____ 1. My partner would say I am as nice to him/her as I am to my best friend.
____ 2. My partner feels very supported by me.
____ 3. My partner sees me as a team player.
____ 4. My partner will attest that my attitude is more positive than negative.
____ 5. My partner would say I am a fair fighter.
____ 6. My partner would say I am fun to be with.
____ 7. My partner loves my sense of humor.
____ 8. My partner would say that I am responsive to his/her needs.
____ 9. I do my part in preventing harmful interactions between us.
____ 10. I come up with fun ideas for us.
____ 11. I initiate interesting conversations.
____ 12. I am a good sport.
____ 13. I express optimism about our relationship.
____ 14. I am accepting of imperfections of my partner and myself.
____ 15. I have a realistic vision of relationships.
____ 16. I am a pleasant person to be around and/or to live with.
This quiz was taken from Pat Love’s excellent book The Truth About Love (Fireside). What do your answers to the above questions tell you?
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